Monster

Why is it I feel so empty? Why does it feel I have nothing to give to you. Why must you take and take and not fill me up? Why do you laugh from your hiding place and not come to face me? Why censor myself in front of your all watching eyes? Why couldn't they see? I found myself through you, because of you, you made me. I am the monster you created, I am me.

Scholastic Dynamics

Going back to school was a big decision for me. It has changed my life, ways of thinking, and matured me a bit. I only wish I had done it sooner, I would be almost done and not just starting. There was new found respect for all those college goers.
I slacked a bit too much this weekend, but somehow came out with good grades. I don't feel I deserve these grades, but I am not going to turn them down. My style of art has been improving, but it will never be awesome if I don't focus. I talk the talk, it feels good to finally walk the walk.
Above is the drawing that I botched, it is on a large sheet of paper. That was the biggest mistake.

Drunk @ 3pm on a Friday

So, I am wasted at 3 pm in the afternoon. I rather be fucked up now than at 8pm saying, "Oh shit! I have to work in the morning!" There is nothing quite like being smashed and having to draw something for class. I think this is going to go over really well. I will post the final product on my myspace page. Not like anyone is going to look at it, but why the fuck not?!

I think people get fucked up to numb themselves from something that is fucking with them. I have always had a problem with being alone, but I am getting use to it more and more. I always said that even when around a crowd of muthafuckas, I was still alone. It was totally my choice to be alone, but damn! Did it have to come to this? It feels as if everyone left me. No one liked dealing with Kelly's persona, but they still didn't come around.

The people I want to be around, can't, don't want to, or find someone else "better" to be around. I thought going to school would do something fucking awesome for me, but all it did was add to the stress. Fuck it, I am going to go drink more beer. Self loathing is one thing, but wondering about something that you have an answer for is another.

No Right to BItch

A friend told me the other day, since I didn't vote I have no right to complain about the government. I laughed at this, I figure if you vote the guy in and they do a shitty job, you have no right to complain. You technically hired the douche bag, so you are responsible for what ever it is they did. Yes, I can admit that I don't give two fucks about politics.

Shit is going to happen either way you vote. One presidents' mess is the next guys job to clean up. All you do is vote for the guy that is best suited to clean it up. A glorified janitor "for the people" with our best interests in mind of course.

I pay taxes, I live by their rules, I do my part to support the country. Supporting a popularity contest for the worst job in America, is not something I want to take part in. If anything, I pity those men for putting themselves and families through such stress. Actors think they have it bad with fanatic fans and paparazzi. Imagine not being able to shit without someone checking the toilet for explosives. Even better, not being able to chill with your close friends without an extensive background check first.

Yes indeed, some might think I am wrong or even "un-American" for my view on this. If you read this far, think about it. Think of all the people that voted Bush into office, or Nixon. Look at all those folks and or even yourselves, and ask yourselves one thing: Can I complain?

New Blogger

I guess this is a blog. I have never done this before and I am not sure what to do. I will do my best. Is this just a place to let random bullshit off your chest? Is this a place where a kid can be a kid? I don't know. What I do know is...I want a Klondike bar.